One of the strangest things about modern culture is that we’ve forgotten how to admire people without surrendering our own judgment. If someone inspires us, we begin treating every opinion they have as though it came down from a mountain carved into stone. It didn’t. They’re just people.
I think about this often because one of my greatest role models is 50 Cent. I’ve never met him. He has no idea I exist. Yet I grew up listening to him, reading his books, studying the way he thinks about business, resilience, and life. His work has influenced me in ways I will probably never be able to measure.
I also disagree with him. One of his books encourages young people to pursue internships and unpaid work if it helps them get their foot in the door. I disagree. Completely.
That disagreement doesn’t erase everything else I’ve learned from him. It also doesn’t make him a bad mentor. It simply means I remained responsible for doing my own thinking.
That’s the part people seem to forget. A role model is not someone you copy. A role model is someone you learn from. Those are very different relationships.
The older I get, the more suspicious I become of people who agree with someone one hundred percent of the time. Nobody is right about everything. Not your favourite author, not your politician, entrepreneur, professor, comedian, musician… not even you.
I listen to rappers who sometimes say things I find completely despicable. That doesn’t stop me from appreciating their storytelling, their creativity, or the way they use language.
I laugh at comedians whose opinions I would never adopt in my own life. That doesn’t mean I secretly agree with every joke.
I’ve read books that changed the course of my thinking while simultaneously containing chapters I completely rejected. I don’t feel obligated to defend those chapters. I simply turn the page.
Imagine how exhausting life would become if we demanded complete agreement before allowing ourselves to appreciate someone’s work. You would never read another book, never watch another film, enjoy another stand-up special… listen to another album.
Every artist eventually disappoints someone. Every thinker eventually says something questionable. Every human being eventually reveals a blind spot. That’s what makes them human.
I sometimes wonder whether we’ve confused admiration with loyalty. Loyalty asks us to defend people. Admiration asks us to learn from them. Those are not the same thing.
One of the healthiest things I’ve ever learned to say is this:
I agree with most of what they say, but not all of it.”
That sentence protects something incredibly valuable:
Your independence.
We don’t grow by collecting heroes. We grow by collecting ideas. Some survive, some don’t. Some become lifelong principles, others become lessons in what not to do.
That’s exactly how learning is supposed to work. I don’t want readers who agree with every sentence I publish, that would concern me. I hope people challenge me. I hope they disagree with me, respectfully.
I hope they take what helps them and leave behind what doesn’t. That’s exactly how I consume the work of people I admire:
Respectfully, critically, and without surrendering my own judgment.