A Piece for Cleopatra’s Vanity
Women who are conditioned to earn love through endless sacrifice become vulnerable to exploitation in every area of life.
It starts at home: Let’s first talk about parents who teach daughters to over-function.
When I was a little girl, my mother would sometimes ask me to make my younger brother a plate for dinner. I remember looking at her, genuinely confused.
Why?
He has arms. Hands. Legs. Feet.”
~ Little Karny
She would immediately shush me, almost as if I had said something dangerous.
“You’re not supposed to say that!”
As though questioning the ritual itself might somehow bring bad luck.
Little Karny didn’t care, she never did make that plate. Respects.
Girls are raised to be polite at their own expense.
Now, let’s talk about the brothers who grow into entitled adults, the mediocre men who happily accept the free labor, and the women who mistake self-erasure for virtue:
I know women who pay their father’s bills, do their grown brother’s laundry, clean and organize their mother’s closet too. People often describe these women as “good women.”
I don’t. I describe them as exhausted and desperate for love and approval. I see them as deeply insecure, scared, and trapped in family exploitation. That later manifests as romantic, sexual, and marital exploitation (often by mediocre men).
The paradox is that none of this servitude guarantees love and care. In fact, it guarantees the opposite: More exploitation, from basically everyone. They end up being a magnet for opportunists, who are only out for their own gain. And repel those who are genuine and don’t need free labor.
I’ve watched these types of women give until there was almost nothing left of themselves. Until they were a shell of who they used to be. They genuinely believed that the more they gave, the more they would be loved.
There is also an irony in all this. Many of these women spend years trying to look “feminine” by becoming increasingly accommodating and doing the most. Meanwhile, they slowly disappear. Then one day they wake up wondering why nobody seems to notice them anymore.
A perfect character example of this would be from the old movie about Ike and Tina Turner, remember Ike’s previous wife? If you haven’t watched it, when you do, pay close attention to that person who no one even remembers the name of (including myself). Yes, she is an extreme example, but some of you need an extreme example to wake up before it’s too late.
Smart people learn from their mistakes. Even smarter people learn from others’ mistakes too.”
Closing note: This piece is about a pattern I’ve observed, and why I think it’s harmful. Take it or leave it.