I have a running list of classic films I am slowly making my way through. Some become instant favourites. Others earn my respect without earning my affection. Every now and then, though, a film arrives at exactly the right moment in life. As Good as It Gets found me.
This movie named feelings I had struggled to explain. As brilliant as Jack Nicholson is, Simon was the character I couldn’t stop thinking about. Simon is introduced as someone “larger than life.” He is artistic, expressive, charismatic, and surrounded by people. He seems like the sort of person life naturally bends toward.
Then everything changes. His health fails. His finances disappear. The confidence fades. The phone calls begin. Watching him call through a list of people he thought would be there for him was one of the hardest scenes in the film. It asks a question most of us hope we never have to answer:
Who would actually inconvenience themselves for you?
There is a painful difference between people who enjoy your company and people who are willing to rearrange their lives when yours begins to fall apart. Those are not always the same people.
That scene reminded me of something I once wrote. There comes a day when the fantasy breaks. The day you discover that someone can know you are struggling and still continue living their life exactly as before. That realization changes you.
Then there was Carol. There is a moment where she admits she simply wants to be held. A quiet confession. It reminded me how often adulthood disguises emotional needs as practical ones. We tell ourselves we need more money, a better job, a different apartment… less stress. Sometimes all of that is true. Sometimes, underneath it all, we are simply exhausted from carrying ourselves. Sometimes we don’t need someone to solve our problems. We just want somewhere safe enough to put them down for a little while.
Then came the iconic line everyone remembers.
You make me want to be a better man.”
When I was younger, I would have rolled my eyes. I subscribed to the “accept me exactly as I am” philosophy. Over time, I have realised something different. The healthiest relationships do not ask you to become someone else, they simply awaken the version of you that was already there. Years ago, someone I loved told me that I should be with someone who makes me want to become a better person. I understand what she meant now.
I also found myself thinking about something unexpected. People often describe certain personalities as “larger than life”. The ones who tell stories, make people laugh, and carry the conversation. They walk into a room with unmistakable energy. It is easy to assume those people are surrounded by support. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they simply become very good at performing strength.
As Good as It Gets dismantles that illusion: Being memorable is not the same thing as being held. Being admired is not the same thing as being understood. And having everyone’s attention is not the same thing as having someone to call when everything falls apart.
That may have been the film’s greatest lesson. It isn’t really about romance. It isn’t even about love. It is about dignity. About allowing imperfect people to remain imperfect while still becoming better. About discovering that the people who change your life are rarely the ones you expected. Most films entertain you. A few films accompany you. This one sat beside me.
Somewhere between Simon’s phone calls, Carol’s confession, and one stubborn man’s desire to become better, I realised I hadn’t just watched a classic. I had met an old friend I simply hadn’t been introduced to yet.
Being memorable is not the same thing as being held. Being admired is not the same thing as being understood.”